Why I do not like to drive

Now that I’ve been home a few minutes, I am not as upset. So I will only say a little bit on the subject of obscene gestures. Foul, inappropriate, disappointing, and definitely not classy. You want me to see what a moron you are? Go ahead, flip me the bird. Your crazy driving skills certainly didn’t lay it out there well enough.

I was leaving my local club store, which I lerve, and traffic was a smidge heavy. I was pulling left into traffic, and looking out for speed demons around some curves, when I slowly started edging out into the turn lane. Someone across the street, exiting another parking lot by whipping around other parked cars to the road, but without a stop sign, would likely have had right-of-way, but not when it takes flying at whiney top gear to try zip out in front of me, then barely edging in behind me and the other dude coming up on my tail. How dare I pull my nondescript jellybean of a minivan out in front of her, while she is obviously trying to deliver pizzas before the person even calls for them. Only fair, I presume, that she practically drive under my rear bumper for all of 200 yards until she can fling her hatchback into the next neighborhood, waving the ugly birdy at me the entire time. Ooh, that made my day better. I really should have guessed that the road is not safe for those who exercise caution; it is available for those who consider only themselves.

I have kids in the car – I drive a minivan, for crying out loud! I was obviously being cautious, and would have stopped had I seen her parking lot antics in time, but as I didn’t see her, nor did I stop, she saw fit to teach me a lesson by trying to beat me anyways. She failed at that, so her only option was to ride my butt and flip me off. I guess yielding and driving carefully are for losers like me who do not want to become traffic statistics.